The Amusement Park Policies

Failure to comply with the policies below will result in immediate expulsion from the park.

General:
The Amusement Park was built from the ground up on the following cornerstones: honesty, dignity and creativity. By design, our corporate structure has no walls, revolving door or glass ceiling. There are no greenhorns, language barriers or bandwidth issues. And surprisingly enough, there’s no agency markup.
Payment Terms:
The only space you should be paying for is the space between our ears.
Behavior:
Boredom, egos and conventional thinking are strictly prohibited so your client/agency relationship won’t be a roller coaster ride.
Dress Code:
Dressing someone down in public is grounds for immediate dismissal.
Language:
Not only are we proficient in English and Spanish, both regional and urban dialects, but our message also speaks directly to men, women and children, Gen X, Gen Y and Baby Boomers, rednecks, yuppies and senior citizens, bikers, rappers and sports fanatics, or whomever the intended audience may be.
Ride Restrictions:
There are no size restrictions. Every company, be it a small start-up or a global giant, is free to enjoy the ride of its life.
Guest Relations:
Not only is the park open 24/7, but so is the line of communication. Our goal is to make every park visit a memorable and rewarding experience. For assistance, please call 214.733.2244 or 214.232.0191. That way, you’re always in the loop.
Park Security:
Safety is our top priority. With the most advanced security software in place and our strict non-disclosure agreement, you can rest assured knowing that your livelihood is in capable hands.
Discounts:
Here’s the ticket. With real economies of scale and virtually no overhead, we can offer our clients year-round savings. Nevertheless, we do have two hard and fast rules. Rule 1: We never discount a client’s or customer’s opinion. Rule 2: If you discount your product, eventually, your customer will discount you.
Accommodations:
Should an unforeseen crisis arise—a fare war, natural disaster or recall—you’ll be relieved to know that we have the bandwidth to organize and deploy a quick-response team to address the situation.
Lost & Found:
Discover how companies whose brand messages were getting lost in the clutter found their true voice and expanded their customer base.
Line Jumping:
Not an issue. Each client is assigned a dedicated team: the owners and directors. That way, you never have to worry about another client’s project taking precedence over yours.
Restricted Areas:
None. Every client is granted full and immediate access to the park at all times, including the following left and right-brain venues: Don, Ross, Heidi, Scott, Jacob, and Carlos.
Park Map:
At The Amusement Park, we guarantee service with a smile, scream, grin, roar, giggle, chuckle, snicker, howl, or belly laugh. Hey, if we’ve learned one thing over the years, it’s that building a brand can be both fun and hard work at the same time.